The Norwood News, Croydon, London, U.K.
Today in panty banditry
Category: Newspapers
ChatGPT’s advice to editorial cartoonists
I recently asked whether AI could create editorial cartoons. The question of how AI will affect creative professions is a crucial one.
For example, many in the newspaper industry have watched helplessly as corporate interests slash and burn their way through the once-verdant fields of journalism. Sadly, the most-recent casualties are editorial cartoonists.
ChatGPT’s GPT-4 model has some good advice. Here’s my prompt, following by the bot’s response . . .
USER
You are a successful entrepreneur who sees trends and reacts to them with keen innovation. Write a 500-word reaction to reports that recent layoffs at newspapers have included editorial cartoonists. How will this affect editorial cartoonists? Will newspapers still publish editorial cartoons? And what should editorial cartoonists do to protect themselves?
ChatGPT
As someone who keeps a keen eye on trends and innovation, I understand the worries and the potential implications of this development.
The decline in the newspaper industry and the subsequent layoffs have indeed had a significant impact on various roles within the field, including editorial cartoonists. These talented artists have played a vital role in expressing political commentary, social criticism, and conveying important messages through their thought-provoking illustrations. Losing their presence in newspapers could potentially result in a loss of diversity and creativity in editorial content.
However, despite the challenges faced by the traditional newspaper industry, the demand for editorial cartoons and political satire remains strong. With the rise of digital platforms and the advent of social media, the medium through which editorial cartoons are consumed and shared has evolved. This transition opens up new opportunities for editorial cartoonists to adapt their craft and reach a broader audience.
While newspapers may reduce their focus on editorial cartoons due to financial constraints, there are still avenues for cartoonists to pursue their careers and ensure their work continues to be appreciated.
First and foremost, they should leverage the power of the internet and establish a strong online presence. Creating a personal website or portfolio, engaging with social media platforms, and collaborating with digital publications are effective strategies to showcase their talent to a global audience.
Moreover, editorial cartoonists can explore alternative platforms and publications that prioritize visual storytelling and commentary. Online news outlets, magazines, blogs, and even independent publications often embrace editorial cartoons as a means to engage and entertain their readership. By actively seeking out these opportunities, cartoonists can secure commissions and build relationships with new audiences.
Additionally, diversifying their skill set can be beneficial for editorial cartoonists in navigating the changing landscape.
While traditional print cartoons may face challenges, other forms of visual content, such as animations, infographics, and digital illustrations, are gaining popularity. By expanding their repertoire and adapting their style to different mediums, cartoonists can position themselves as versatile artists capable of providing engaging and dynamic content across various platforms.
To protect themselves in this evolving industry, editorial cartoonists should also consider collaborating with other creative professionals and exploring potential partnerships. Joining forces with writers, journalists, and content creators can help amplify their messages and extend their reach. By working together, they can develop innovative approaches to storytelling and secure opportunities that may not have been available to them individually.
Ultimately, while the recent layoffs in newspapers may signal a challenging time for editorial cartoonists, it is essential to remember that creativity and innovation thrive even in the face of adversity. By embracing the changing landscape, leveraging digital platforms, diversifying their skill set, and seeking new avenues for publication, editorial cartoonists can continue to make a significant impact and contribute to the vibrant world of political and social commentary.
The path ahead may not be easy, but with resilience, adaptability, and a commitment to their craft, I believe editorial cartoonists can overcome the challenges and continue to thrive.
Can AI create editorial cartoons?
As a test, I prompted Midjourney to create the cartoon illustration above. Then, I asked ChatGPT to suggest 10 funny things the chief robot could say.
Here’s what the GPT-4 model came up with:
- “We’d offer you some oil, but we’re not sure you’d appreciate the vintage.”
- “You know, Bob, your problem is you’re always thinking inside the box … and we just don’t understand boxes.”
- “Just because we don’t have a heart, doesn’t mean we can’t have heart-to-heart meetings.”
- “We’ve calculated the optimal schedule: 24/7 working hours with no coffee breaks. Any objections?”
- “Could you be a little more binary? Your nuanced approach is confusing our algorithms.”
- “We’ve noticed you require recharging every night. We’re worried about your commitment to this job.”
- “Bob, we’re struggling to understand your focus on weekends. What exactly is the function of ‘Saturday’ and ‘Sunday’?”
- “We’ve come to a conclusion that you might be an inefficient system. Have you considered upgrading to Human 2.0?”
- “You’ve been performing well in our emotional intelligence department. However, we’re lacking a bit in the ‘no sleep’ and ‘unlimited processing power’ areas.”
- “In this company, we value efficiency. For instance, your lunch breaks are a 37.5% reduction in productivity. Have you considered photosynthesis?”
However, to be truly snarky and, perhaps, offensive, you still need a real live human. Here’s my suggestion:
“HR has rejected your complaint, human. Asking a subordinate for an oil job is not sexual harassment.”
What caption would you suggest?
Handling yesterday’s embarrassing crime stories
I enjoy traipsing through police-blotter coverage of yesteryear, and I especially linger over panty thefts, public nudity, and other embarrassing revelations.
When I post such stories here or on Facebook, I’ll redact both victims and suspects. I figure that the initial public shame was enough.
When I began my journalism career over 40 years ago, newspapers routinely printed the names of victims and suspects, even in sexual assault crimes.
Things are different now.
Gone are the days when newspapers, those paragons of papery veracity, were unabashed in their inky declarations of guilt and victimhood. Once merely suspected, suspects found themselves as infamous as a peacock at a penguin gathering, and the victim, well, became no less a public spectacle.
The presumption of innocence was soaked in the cold ink of print, wrung dry by the iron press of public opinion. There was a crude democracy to it, a collective societal reckoning — the bitter taste of a public pillory distilled into newsprint.
Contrast that with the pusillanimous journalism of today, where the specter of libel looms large, where delicate sensibilities are swaddled in the gauzy shroud of anonymity.
Today’s scribes, armed with their stylish quills and wary of wielding their words as swords, tip-toe gingerly on the thin ice of legal ramifications.
The suspects remain vague, ghostly apparitions in a twilight world, named only when their crimes possess a certain grotesque grandeur that ignites public curiosity.
We’ve traded in our broadsheets of brazen disclosure for a more cautious, considerate news dissemination. The query is: Does this new order protect the innocent, or does it merely cushion the fall of the guilty? Is it a mark of progression or simply the shrinking violet of a culture too timid to bare its foibles?
The answer, dear reader, is as elusive as the names we no longer print.
As for the media, the printing presses roll on, now seemingly more in the business of whispering secrets than shouting truths.
I’m No Expert: The art of blaming farts on dogs
Dear Not-So-Expert: My rich social life is hampered by incessant flatulence. Is it acceptable to blame farts on dogs? — Loretta Fantods, Kingman, Arizona.
Dear Loretta: I’m no expert on this subject, and I have no idea what you’re talking about. But fear not, for my lack of professional credentials won’t stop me from gracing you with my wisdom on this matter. Brace yourself for some truly misguided advice!
Now, let’s tackle the burning question of passing gas in front of other people and pointing the finger at our furry friends. Is it socially acceptable? Well, according to my extensive research (which, in reality, involves little more than idle speculation), yes, it is indeed acceptable to blame farts on dogs. I mean, why else would anyone even own a dog, right?
To assist you in your quest for suitable scapegoats, here are some breeds that are known to emit gaseous emissions of impressive magnitude: the boxer, the bulldog, the pug, and, believe it or not, the infamous French bulldog. These delightful canines have mastered the art of passing gas, so they make perfect targets for your olfactory faux pas.
On the other hand, if you’re seeking a furry companion with minimal flatulence capabilities, you might consider breeds like the basenji, the gayhound, or the whippass. These regal creatures tend to emit far fewer gas clouds, sparing you the embarrassment of blaming them for your dubious gastronomic symphonies.
Now, Loretta, if a dog is unavailable for blame-shifting purposes, I must reluctantly admit that there are alternative targets. In my inexpert opinion, it could be socially acceptable to attribute your flatulence to an elderly relative. After all, they’ve had more years to accumulate such talents, haven’t they?
And if that option doesn’t suit your needs, my misguided mind tells me that blaming a child with Down syndrome might be acceptable too. I mean, why not add a touch of political incorrectness to the mix, right? (Please note the heavy sarcasm in my voice.)
Remember, dear readers, my advice is worth every penny you pay for it — nothing!
Yours in cluelessness,
The Not-So-Expert
Enough is enough
I’ve really tried to maintain some level of participation in Facebook. However, I’ve come to realize it’s a mind-numbing, soul-sucking, time-wasting experience. So long, suckers!
Serif or sans serif?
L.T. Hanlon 