The deadly pandemic known as “crossoveritis” has struck the “Star Trek” franchise again — and given me my most severe case of vicarious embarrassment since “Stargate SG-1” invoked Gerry Anderson.

I sit agog at the sheer audacity of the “Star Trek” franchise to pull this stunt. It’s akin to the ludicrous episode “200” from “Stargate SG-1” — the one that makes you want to teleport yourself into another galaxy, preferably one without cable.

“Star Trek: Strange New Worlds,” for the unfamiliar, is the nostalgia-fueled, good-ship-lollipop revival of Captain Pike’s pre-Kirk adventures.

“Star Trek: Lower Decks” is what you get when you mate “Star Trek” with “Rick and Morty” — a projectile vomit-inducing cartoon for the hyper-caffeinated.

Combine the two in the episode “Those Old Scientists“? It’s like blending champagne with Red Bull: a waste of good champagne and a misuse of Red Bull.

This unholy crossover is the equivalent of forcibly beaming the Starfleet Academy into an interstellar clown college. I don’t know who in the production team thought turning our beloved, serious sci-fi characters into comedic cartoons was a good idea.

Are we so desperate for laughs in the grim vacuum of space we must resort to such abominations?

“Strange New Worlds” was barely hanging on by the thread of nostalgic fanboy/girl hope, but this crossover might as well have been a phaser set to kill, aimed straight at the integrity of the series.

And “Lower Decks”? The original premise was as slippery as a Ferengi businessman — the humorous underbelly of “Star Trek”?

Please. It’s like someone looked at the underappreciated maintenance crews and thought, “You know what would make this better? Caricatures and slapstick!”

“Stargate SG-1” had its Supermarionation embarrassment, sure, but at least it had the decency to return to its senses in later episodes. “200” was a fever dream from which we thankfully awoke.

But our dear Starfleet seems to have lost its way in this cartoon cosmos, with no signs of a course correction.

I swear, if this is the trajectory of “Star Trek’s” future, I’d rather watch a Klingon log-rolling competition. At least that would involve real logs and real danger rather than this watered-down, Saturday-morning-cartoon-esque disgrace that we are forced to reckon with.

Beam me up, Scotty — I can’t take it anymore.