UFO – L.T. Hanlon

Civil War-era photo shows a flying saucer that has crashed into a two-story farmhouse.

My Dearest Cousin Lavinia,

With a spirit agitated by events most peculiar, I pen this missive. It has been but a fortnight since General Sherman’s men did descend upon Goshen Farms.

Amidst the chaos, a happening most strange and fearful took place – a great flying machine, the likes of which I could scarce imagine, fell from the sky and crashed into the side of Master Thompson’s farmhouse, laying ruin to its structure.

Under the compulsion of the General’s men, I was bade enter this abode of destruction. Within, I beheld a sight that has since haunted my slumbers.

Creatures of an aspect most unusual were strewn amidst the wreckage. They were of a slight and delicate frame, with skin as pale as the moon’s glow and eyes that seemed to hold the very cosmos. They bore no resemblance to any beast of God’s creation known to my eyes.

Their attire was of a fabric unknown, shimmering under the dim light that pierced the gloom of the shattered dwelling. Though fear gripped my heart, I could not deny a certain sorrow for these otherworldly beings so far from their home, now lying silent in their iron carriage.

I pray thee, believe my words, for what mine eyes have beheld, the mind struggles to comprehend. May the Lord grant us understanding of these mysteries in His own time.

Yours in bewildered kinship, I remain,

Jessy Worthington
Goshen Farms, Georgia

Cartoon illustration of four goofy-looking aliens seated at a table during a congressional hearing.

I’m still catching my breath from yesterday’s supposed “reveal” at the Subcommittee on National Security, the Border, and Foreign Affairs. Despite the hype, there wasn’t even a whiff of extraterrestrial cologne in the air, let alone any proof of them or their fancy interstellar toys.

David Grusch, the former U.S. Air Force officer and intelligence official, dodged questions like a pro, repeatedly offering to provide answers only in a closed hearing.

Oh, the suspense!

But forgive me if I’m not biting my nails waiting for the curtain to rise on that shadowy encore.

Chairman Rep. Glenn Grothman kicked off the hearings with a fiery pro-transparency rallying cry. He said, “The lack of transparency surrounding UAPs has fueled wild speculation and debate for decades, eroding public trust in the very institutions that are meant to serve and protect them.”

I couldn’t have put it better, Glenn. The Wisconsin Republican was onto something, but did we hit pay dirt?

Close, but no cigar-shaped object.

If you’re involved in UFO and UAP research, you’ve got to spill the beans in public hearings. It’s as simple as that.

Without public transparency, UFO research will keep lurking in the same murky corner as other beloved mysteries like Roswell, JFK, RFK, Oklahoma City, Jeffrey Epstein, and 9/11.

Remember the Phoenix Lights of 1997 or the Rendlesham Forest incident? How about the UFO flap in Belgium? Or the Lonnie Zamora case? If we’ve learned anything from these, the truth is far more intricate and unnerving than what’s been spoon-fed.

Stanton Friedman, the granddaddy of ufology, put it best: “The evidence is overwhelming that Planet Earth is being visited by intelligently controlled extraterrestrial spacecraft. There is no doubt that a small number of people in governments both in the United States and overseas have been actively covering up the truth about these visits. There really is a ‘Cosmic Watergate.’”

Cosmic Watergate, indeed.

So, let’s take a wild guess. Do you think we’ve been given the whole enchilada?

If you think so, I’ve got a slightly used flying saucer to sell you driven only on Sundays by a little old gray lady from Zeta Reticuli.