OpenAI – L.T. Hanlon

A man in a business suit stands next a monitor displaying the MCP from "Tron."

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

San Francisco, CA –— OpenAI, a leading artificial intelligence research laboratory, is thrilled to announce Edward Dillinger as its new Chief Executive Officer, effective immediately. Dillinger, a renowned figure in the tech industry, is best known for his groundbreaking work as the Senior Executive Vice President of ENCOM, where he led the development of iconic video games like “Matrix Blaster,” “Light Cycles,” and “Space Paranoids.”

“Edward’s vision and leadership in the realm of digital innovation align perfectly with OpenAI’s mission to ensure that artificial general intelligence (AGI) benefits all of humanity,” said Sam Altman, former CEO of OpenAI. “His pioneering spirit and experience in managing complex technological projects make him an ideal leader for our ambitious goals.”

Dillinger expressed his enthusiasm about the new role, stating, “I am excited to join OpenAI and contribute to the advancement of AI in a responsible and impactful way. My journey with ENCOM has been incredible, and I’m ready to bring my experience to the forefront of AI development.”

Under Dillinger’s leadership, OpenAI aims to accelerate its research in AI safety and ethics, ensuring that the benefits of AI technologies are widely and equitably distributed. The company is also expected to expand its portfolio of projects, leveraging Dillinger’s expertise in gaming and interactive technologies.

This appointment marks a significant milestone for OpenAI as it continues to push the boundaries of AI research and applications, striving for a future where AI and humanity coexist in harmony and prosperity.

Contact Information:
OpenAI Media Relations
media@openai.com

About OpenAI:
OpenAI is an AI research and deployment company, dedicated to ensuring that artificial general intelligence benefits all of humanity. The company is composed of a team of researchers and engineers, striving to advance digital intelligence in the way that is most likely to benefit humanity as a whole.

Note: This release is a fictional parody and should not be taken as factual information.

As I’ve been experimenting with AI-assisted writing and editing, I’ve been thinking about how it will shake up the world of work and make many jobs go the way of the dodo.

OpenAI CEO Sam Altman has some deep thoughts about this exact subject.

I watched a video of Joanna Stern’s interviews with Altman and CTO Mira Murati at The Wall Street Journal’s Tech Live conference. This Altman guy’s sharp. Stern threw him some curveballs, but he didn’t flinch.

He says the disruption’s coming fast. Faster than the industrial or digital revolutions. Jobs? Poof. Gone. But he isn’t all doom and gloom. He says it’s not just about handing out universal basic income like Halloween candy. People need agency, a reason to get up in the morning.

Altman’s way with words impresses me. He says humans find “great satisfaction in doing something useful,” something that lets us “add something back to the trajectory of the species.” What a great way to describe that need and feeling most of us share.

But what jobs are already circling the drain? Cashiers? We already have machines for that. Truck drivers? Self-driving semis are on the horizon. Writers and editors? You’re reading AI-generated stories all over the place.

What about bartenders? Can you imagine a robot listening to your troubles or cutting you off when you’ve had one too many? Some jobs need the human touch. But others? Sayonara.

Is it all happening too fast? Hard to say. But one thing’s sure: We can’t cram this genie back in the bottle. We’re on this rollercoaster, and there’s no getting off. So, what’s the plan? Retrain? Find new gigs? Or do we just sit back on our lazy asses and let the machines take the wheel?

Altman’s right: We won’t run out of stuff to do. Humans are restless. We always have been. But must we eternally labor, always sing for our supper? Maybe not. But we’ll find new ways to contribute, to matter. We’re built that way.

I wish I weren’t clocking in at 70. I’m sliding down the far end of the bell curve and won’t be around to see AI’s full Monty. But for those who will, buckle up. It’s going to be one hell of a ride.