Nobody puts baby in a woodchipper

L.T. HanlonLeave a comment
Oh, look! Jennifer’s getting a rhinoplasty!

(This post originally appeared when the “Dirty Dancing” musical came to the Windy City.)

I guess I’m just a contrarian.

I’m unable to stomach what the rest of the civilized world apparently considers one of the greatest movies of all time.

I’m talking about “Dirty Dancing,” a 1987 coming-of-age picture starring Patrick Swayze and Jennifer Grey.

I count “Citizen Kane” and “Amarcord” as among the best films ever made, but I’m sure there are people who can’t get through either one without projectile vomiting and that’s fine with me. Similarly, I’ll be damned if I’m gonna watch “Dirty Dancing” more than once. My recollection of the film is some dancing, some more dancing, still more dancing, Jerry Orbach determines yep, that’s a botched abortion, and then a whole lot more dancing.

Well, color me twinkletoes!

It apparently wasn’t enough that this chick-o-rama production spawned a sequel called “Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights” — now every other Chicago Transit Authority bus has requisitely pink-colored ads for the stage version of the original film.

I could have saved the show’s producers the expense of mounting a live production. Look, it’s clear that today’s female moviegoers are seriously disturbed psychologically — or simply don’t mind grindhouse gore — or else they wouldn’t flock to and evidently enjoy the many movies in which folks are dismembered, tortured, and otherwise dispatched in some of the most violent means ever put on film.

In my opinion, “Dirty Dancing” didn’t need a stage version. It just needed another film sequel — but this one directed by Wes Craven. And, in a nod to one of my favorite Coen brothers scenes, I’ve even got the guaranteed megahit title:


“Dirty Dancing III: Nobody Puts Baby in a Woodchipper”

When in Fargo, visit the woodchipper!

Bits of tid that make life interesting

L.T. Hanlon3 Comments

Photo of letter from 3M to a woman who worked at New Jersey Bell. Beneath it is the 3M facility that sent the letter. Below that is a photo of what once was New Jersey Bell's office's, where the recipient worked.
TOP: Photo of envelope from 3M to a woman who worked at New Jersey Bell. MIDDLE: The 3M facility in St. Paul, Minnesota, that sent the letter. BOTTOM: A building in Jersey City, New Jersey, that once housed New Jersey Bell’s offices, where the recipient worked.

Here's the letter from 3M that included a sample of a special paper used to clean typewriter type slugs.
Here’s the letter from 3M that included a sample of a special paper used to clean typewriter type slugs.

Here's the cleaning paper ready to be used in the Hermes 3000. The little piece of paper at right also was in the typewriter case; it has information about the kind of typewriter ribbon the owners needs to buy.
The cleaning paper stands ready to be used in the Hermes 3000. The little piece of paper at right also was in the typewriter case; it has information about the kind of typewriter ribbon the owner needs to buy.

At left is the back side of that little piece of paper. It has an add for Green Cross Pharmacy in Morristown, New Jersey. The pharmacy used to occupy the building with the "Boutique 161" sign.
At left is the backside of that little piece of paper. It’s an ad for Green Cross Pharmacy in Morristown, New Jersey. The pharmacy used to occupy the building with the “Boutique 161” sign.

Before purchasing the Hermes 3000 for Allied, its owner might have considered getting a machine from Smith's Office Machines & Equipment Inc. A coin-operated laundry now stands on the site.
Before purchasing the Hermes 3000 at Allied, its owner might have considered getting a machine from Smith’s Office Machines & Equipment Inc. in East Orange, New Jersey. A coin-operated laundry now stands on the site.