A rehab breakout and a New Year’s publicity stunt

December 31, 2023June 8, 2024 L.T. HanlonLeave a comment

Caitlyn Mahoon and Mack Linger hatch a scheme.

Mack Linger’s drinking career has a music problem

December 31, 2023June 8, 2024 L.T. HanlonLeave a comment

Mack Linger talks on an old-style analog phone.

Country star Mack Linger, more accustomed to the spotlight of the Grand Ole Opry than the shade of a rehab center, nursed his ego and shoulder — both bruised when a security guard thwarted his escape attempt from a Palm Springs rehab clinic the previous night.

Clinic director Nathaniel Beaumont confiscated Mack’s cellphone and revoked his online, TV, and radio privileges.

Mack was already plotting his next departure when a nurse escorted him to one of the patient conference rooms. She nodded toward a landline phone, then closed the door behind her.

He picked up the handset, pressed a blinking button, and recoiled as the voice of Christopher “Topher” Coobee, his label’s PR man who navigated the murky waters of public relations with the finesse of a shark, blared across the miles.

“Mack, get ready,” Topher said. “Caitlyn Mahoon is doing a piece on you.”

“Tell her to find another loser. I’m not some sob story for her to exploit.”

“It’s all about the drama, Mack,” Topher said. “You know how this works. Your recovery, or lack thereof, is just fodder for the masses.”

“And what about my actual recovery?” Mack shot back, his words edged with cynicism.

“Recovery, relapse, it’s all the same headline. You’re here to make a scene, not a change.”

With a resigned scoff, Mack agreed. “Fine. Is this that old bag who looks like a cross between Barbara Stanwyck and an albino prune?”

“Whoa, there. Just keep it smooth, buddy. Lather on that old Oklahoma charm,” his flack said.

“I’ll be the perfect gentleman,” Mack said.

Mack Linger enters rehab after Reno incident

December 29, 2023June 8, 2024 L.T. HanlonLeave a comment

NASHVILLE (AP) — Country music sensation Mack Linger, famed for his chart-topping “Lonesome Roads, Unwritten Codes,” has checked into a Palm Springs rehabilitation clinic, music industry sources said.

The move follows an incident last week in Reno, where the 31-year-old singer made headlines for an outrageous outburst during his concert at the Sunk Creek Casino.

Eyewitnesses said that Linger stripped naked — except for his cowboy hat — and urinated on a table of bachelorette party revelers heckling his performance of “Railroad Tracks and Love Sacks.”

Video of the incident, which has since gone viral, sparked a mix of concern and disbelief among fans and critics.

Linger, known for his soulful voice and heartfelt lyrics, has often spoken of his struggles with the pressures of fame and a family history of substance abuse.

On Friday, he shared on X (formerly Twitter) a selfie taken poolside at an undisclosed clinic and commented, “Greetings from the Matthew Perry 12-step program!”

Taste the magic of monosodium glutamate!

December 29, 2023December 29, 2023 L.T. HanlonLeave a comment

Monosodium glutamate, commonly known as MSG, has long been a subject of culinary debates, often misunderstood and maligned. Yet, this seasoning, heralded for its unique flavor-enhancing properties, deserves a moment in the spotlight for its fascinating history and culinary significance.

My journey with MSG began in childhood. The celery in the chicken chop suey at Chinese restaurants always had an irresistible taste that our home-cooked meals couldn’t match. The secret ingredient? MSG. It was a revelation when my mother introduced Ac’cent, a famous MSG brand, into our kitchen. Suddenly, our dishes were transformed, brimming with an indescribable savory depth.

MSG’s history dates from 1908, when Japanese chemist Kikunae Ikeda identified the unique taste of kombu seaweed broth. He named this taste “umami,” which translates to a pleasant savory flavor, and it is now recognized as the fifth taste alongside sweet, sour, bitter, and salty. Ikeda’s discovery helped to produce MSG, derived from natural substances like sugarcane or beets, through a fermentation process like yogurt or vinegar.

Despite its natural origins, MSG has been a controversial ingredient. In the late 1960s, “Chinese Restaurant Syndrome” emerged, describing symptoms people attributed to eating food with MSG, particularly in Chinese cuisine. This led to widespread stigma and unfounded fears about MSG’s safety. However, decades of research have discredited these claims. The U.S. Food and Drug Administration and many scientific studies have affirmed MSG’s safety, debunking the myth of Chinese Restaurant Syndrome just as the alleged dangers of salt have been reassessed.

MSG’s ability to enhance flavor without adding saltiness is a culinary game-changer. It has a unique capacity to balance and round out the overall perception of other tastes. MSG is a magical ingredient for those who love to cook. Whenever I reach for salt, I choose a sprinkle of MSG instead, knowing it will elevate the dish to a new level of deliciousness.

It’s important to note that MSG imparts the umami taste, a profound, brothy, and meaty flavor that brings complexity to dishes. This “fifth taste” is why foods like tomatoes, cheese, and mushrooms are so satisfying. MSG replicates and intensifies this natural umami, making it an invaluable tool in the kitchen.
Next time you’re seasoning your meal, consider reaching for the MSG – you might be surprised at the depth of flavor it adds to your culinary creations.

WANT TO KNOW MORE?

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There’s no problem that drugs and money can’t fix

December 28, 2023June 8, 2024 L.T. HanlonLeave a comment

The clock over the mirror in Benny’s Bar had struck 1 a.m., and the joint’s raucous energy now simmered at a low hum.

Cousin Jake chugged his beer, adjusted his Stetson, and told Garner to spill the beans from his meeting with the biker who could fix any problem.

“So, Maddox’s plan,” Garner began, his voice barely above a whisper. “It’s all about Danny having stepped into Scarab territory. Maddox and the Scarabs, they’re not gonna let that slide.”

Jake raised an eyebrow. “What about the meth you sold to Danny? Aren’t you on the hook, too?”

Garner shook his head. “That’s the leverage. I hand over the fentanyl to the Scarabs, and they take care of Danny and his crew. An ‘unfortunate accident,’ Maddox called it.”

Jake smirked, a mix of disbelief and admiration. “That’s it? Just hand over the goods, and poof, problem solved?”

“That’s it,” Garner said. “But Jake, we can’t breathe a word of this. Ever.”

“No problem, cousin. I never told you what Maddox did for my dad, did I?”

Jake signaled for another round, then turned back to Garner, his demeanor shifting from serious to jovial. “Hope you’re good to drive, bro, ’cause I’m about to get hammered!”

I kept his dirty jockstrap in a Ziploc bag

December 28, 2023June 8, 2024 L.T. HanlonLeave a comment

Hot hunk with military-short haircut, trim beard and hairy chest is shown in a locker room, drenched in post-workout sweat.

Ethan never knew me, never even saw me, but I saw him – first in those fleeting, intimate moments at the gym. It started when I glimpsed him in the showers and noticed how the lather dripping off his cock looked like a massive load of cum.

I crossed the line when Ethan left his locker door ajar. Inside lay his sweaty jockstrap, unwashed for a week, a piece of him waiting to be claimed.

That jockstrap became my secret treasure, a real piece of Ethan. I kept it in a Ziploc and hauled it out when I gooned on Pig Sweat, stuffed the pouch in my mouth, and beat off watching Put It In Me, Coach!

I followed Ethan, learning his routines and habits, and discovered where he lived – a shitty studio apartment where his disappointments played out.

Amelia wouldn’t give head. Caitlyn balked at anal. Morgan refused to be spanked.

I vowed to make my move on New Year’s Eve when he’d go home alone or with some precious bitch who never ate a man’s asshole. I’d knock on his door, he’d invite me in, and I’d get him off like he needed.

When Ethan didn’t show for Christmas dinner or answer his phone, his 17-year-old sister drove to his place and got the manager to open the door.

I shouldn’t have waited for New Year’s.

How to kill the men who had their way with Garner?

December 27, 2023June 8, 2024 L.T. HanlonLeave a comment

Jake’s old pickup truck rumbled down the Interstate 80 service road. Benny’s Bar was now a distant memory, replaced by the vast, open night.

Their destination loomed ahead, a nondescript roadside business, its sign a faded relic that read “Maddox’s Recovery & Towing.” Forsaken vehicles, each with a story hidden beneath layers of dirt, dust, and rust, sat behind a perimeter fence topped with concertina wire.

Jake parked beside a towering tow truck, its paint job boasting a fierce eagle. He killed the engine, the silence between them thick with anticipation. “This is it, Garner. Maddox is the guy. Just remember, he’s a straight shooter.”

Garner recognized the name. Maddox carried weight in whispered conversations, a legend in his own right. As he and Jake stepped out of the truck, the cool air hit him, sobering his thoughts.

Maddox emerged from the shadows, a towering figure much older than Garner had imagined. His eyes, sharp and assessing, fixed on him. “You’re Jake’s kin?”

“Yeah, that’s right,” Garner said.

Maddox’s gaze flickered to Jake. “Wait here, kid. Garner and I need to talk.”

Garner followed Maddox to a small mobile home at the back of the lot. Maddox steered him to a tiny kitchen, whose well-worn table, pendulum cat clock, and refrigerator adorned with Disney magnets and family photos gave the place a cozy feel.

“Park it. Coffee?” Maddox offered, his voice a low rumble as he moved to a small, outdated Mr. Coffee.

“Sure, thanks,” Garner replied, taking a seat. This little trailer felt like a sanctuary, a hidden world away from the chaos of his life.

Maddox poured two steaming cups, his movements deliberate. He joined Garner at the small table, his presence commanding yet comforting.

“Talk to me, Garner. What’s eating you?” Maddox’s tone was direct, his eyes piercing.

Garner took a deep breath, the steam from the coffee mingling with his words. He watched the cat’s eyes shift side-to-side as its pendulum tail swept beneath the face where hands read 1:20.

“It’s about revenge, but not the kind you’d expect. See, I did a deal with this guy I knew in the joint, and then he and his friends made me. . .”

As Garner spoke, Maddox listened, his expression unreadable yet attentive.

“And you want to kill these men?”

“I hoped you could do it.”

Maddox almost cracked a smile as he shook his head. “No, I’m not going to kill anybody, and neither are you.”

“So what’s the answer?”

Maddox raised his cup as if making a toast, took a sip, and silently set the cup on the table. “The answer is we get someone else to do it.”

Cousin Jake comes up with a killer suggestion

December 25, 2023June 8, 2024 L.T. Hanlon1 Comment

In the red glow of the neon sign outside Benny’s Bar, Garner leaned against the cold brick wall, his face a patchwork of bruises and dried blood. He winced as he touched his swollen cheek, replaying the night’s gangbang. Four against one, and he had been on the losing end.

Footsteps approached, and Garner straightened up as his cousin Jake appeared, his brow furrowed in concern. “Jesus, Garner, you look like hell.”

“Yeah, well, I need a favor,” Garner said. “Lend me your Glock. I gotta settle things with four guys.”

Jake crossed his arms and shook his head. “It’s like this, bro — and don’t take this the wrong way — but y’all are a fuckin’ retread. If I borrow you my piece, you’ll kill those assholes, get caught, and we’ll both end up in Rawlins. But I have the answer. That biker dude who helped my dad with his problem last year? I’m sure he can fix yours, too. Trust me on this one, cousin.”

Garner’s fists clenched.

Jake sighed, stepping closer. “Listen, I get it. But think, man. There’s a smarter way to handle this.” His voice was firm yet laced with a brotherly concern.

A moment of silence hung between them, the neon sign flickering above. Garner knew his cousin was right, but his pride was hard to swallow.

Finally, Garner nodded, the tension in his shoulders easing slightly. “All right, I trust you. Let’s do it your way.”

Jake clapped him on the back. “Good choice. Let’s talk to him. And after, let’s come back here and grab a beer. You look like you could use one or two.”