Helping out with a North Dakota housewarming

An attractive young, dark-haired woman and an older man have a serious conversation in a North Dakota bar.

Jill pushed through the holiday weekend crowd at the Roughrider’s Rest, a bar outside Fort Yates, North Dakota. The joint was a time capsule of rural America: walls adorned with worn-out farm equipment, dim lighting, and heavy air redolent of history, hops, and hookups.

“You Joe?” Jill asked the old guy at the bar. He nodded, his face a roadmap of wrinkles telling stories of years in the prairie sun.

“Heard you’re handy with HVAC systems,” he rasped, swirling his whiskey.

“That’s right,” Jill said.

“I got a rush job,” Joe said, lowering his voice. “My daughter’s house. Boyfriend says it got so cold last night the inside felt like the business end of an ice pick.”

Jill raised an eyebrow. “Just the both of them living there?”

“Beth’s spending 90 days in rehab,” Joe said.

“And him?”

“He’s the only one there, and he’s still cooking meth,” Joe spat.

Jill smiled deliberate-like. “I’ll do it for free.”

“Why?”

“That’s none of your business,” Jill said.

They shook on the deal, and Jill knew this would be interesting … real interesting.

Text and photo copyright © 2023 L.T. Hanlon. This blog post is flash fiction.

Blackout Wednesday: A lucrative night for bars, but at what cost?

Wild pen-and-ink illustration of Thanksgiving Eve at a local bar.

Thanksgiving, a time of gratitude and family reunions, is shadowed by its lesser-known sibling, “Blackout Wednesday,” a night that paradoxically celebrates coming together and reveals some of the more challenging parts of our culture.

Also known as “Drinksgiving,” the day before Thanksgiving has become an unofficial holiday where bars and taverns across the nation see an astonishing surge in patronage, often surpassing even the revelry of New Year’s Eve. Why does this phenomenon occur? Let’s dig into the social and cultural ingredients that brew this unique cocktail.

First, Thanksgiving Eve marks the return of college students to their hometowns. Relieved from academic pressures and excited to reconnect with old friends, these young adults often find local bars an appealing venue to celebrate their mini-reunion. This influx significantly boosts local businesses, making Blackout Wednesday a lucrative night for many bar owners.

However, there’s a more somber undercurrent to this trend. The holiday season can be a magnet for emotional turmoil. Family members, already under the stress of the holidays, often confront unresolved issues and emotional baggage after returning home. For some, the easy accessibility of alcohol on Blackout Wednesday offers a temporary escape from these pressures.

There’s a broader, more introspective question to ponder: Are we, as a nation, leaning too heavily on alcohol as a social crutch? While it’s undeniable that social drinking is a deeply ingrained aspect of many cultures, the intensity of Blackout Wednesday’s festivities might prompt us to reflect on our collective relationship with alcohol.

So, how do we curtail the excesses of Blackout Wednesday? Awareness is key. Encouraging responsible drinking, offering more non-alcoholic social events, and promoting a culture of care where friends look out for each other are small but significant steps we can take. Local bars can also play a role by hosting events focusing more on community and less on consumption.

As we approach this Thanksgiving, let’s embrace the essence of the holiday: gratitude, togetherness, and reflection. Blackout Wednesday need not be a night of excess but can transform into a celebration of homecoming and fellowship. Remember, we contribute to a culture of responsible enjoyment every moment we choose moderation and mindfulness. Let this Thanksgiving Eve remind us of our ability to blend celebration with care, paving the way for a future where we can enjoy our traditions responsibly and joyfully.

OpenAI appoints Edward Dillinger as new CEO

A man in a business suit stands next a monitor displaying the MCP from "Tron."

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

San Francisco, CA –— OpenAI, a leading artificial intelligence research laboratory, is thrilled to announce Edward Dillinger as its new Chief Executive Officer, effective immediately. Dillinger, a renowned figure in the tech industry, is best known for his groundbreaking work as the Senior Executive Vice President of ENCOM, where he led the development of iconic video games like “Matrix Blaster,” “Light Cycles,” and “Space Paranoids.”

“Edward’s vision and leadership in the realm of digital innovation align perfectly with OpenAI’s mission to ensure that artificial general intelligence (AGI) benefits all of humanity,” said Sam Altman, former CEO of OpenAI. “His pioneering spirit and experience in managing complex technological projects make him an ideal leader for our ambitious goals.”

Dillinger expressed his enthusiasm about the new role, stating, “I am excited to join OpenAI and contribute to the advancement of AI in a responsible and impactful way. My journey with ENCOM has been incredible, and I’m ready to bring my experience to the forefront of AI development.”

Under Dillinger’s leadership, OpenAI aims to accelerate its research in AI safety and ethics, ensuring that the benefits of AI technologies are widely and equitably distributed. The company is also expected to expand its portfolio of projects, leveraging Dillinger’s expertise in gaming and interactive technologies.

This appointment marks a significant milestone for OpenAI as it continues to push the boundaries of AI research and applications, striving for a future where AI and humanity coexist in harmony and prosperity.

Contact Information:
OpenAI Media Relations
media@openai.com

About OpenAI:
OpenAI is an AI research and deployment company, dedicated to ensuring that artificial general intelligence benefits all of humanity. The company is composed of a team of researchers and engineers, striving to advance digital intelligence in the way that is most likely to benefit humanity as a whole.

Note: This release is a fictional parody and should not be taken as factual information.

Text and photo copyright © 2023 L.T. Hanlon. This post is a work of fiction.