Chicago isn’t just wind and deep-dish pizza. It’s full of stories. One such story involves yours truly getting jabbed with three vaccines on Monday afternoon: COVID-19, the flu, and RSV.

Come nightfall, my body was cooking. My Apple Watch buzzed like an angry wasp every time my heart rate did a lap around the 120-plus mark. For a guy whose ticker usually beats around 70, this was concerning.

When my condition hadn’t improved by Tuesday morning, I went to immediate care. They collected my vitals, did an EKG, and handed me a one-way ticket to the ER. Ah, the ER. I got another EKG, got plugged into some fluids, and had a lovely moment with a puke receptacle that looked like a giant condom designed by Salvador Dali.

So, was it the vaccines? It might’ve been. But here’s where it gets dicey.

Correlation and causation. Just because two things happen together doesn’t mean one caused the other. The high heart rate? The fever? It could’ve been the vaccines, sure. But it could’ve been my dodgy sandwich, the Chicago air, or maybe my own damn body acting up.

In my case, the vaccines and the symptoms? Possibly related, sure. But it’s not a sealed deal. So, next time something’s got you scratching your head, ask yourself: Is it correlation or causation?

I ended up back home by 4 p.m., tired as hell. On the bright side, no atrial fibrillation. And they gave me Graham crackers. Ain’t nothing like carbs to keep your mind off other … urges.