Until a moment ago, my experience in working with Anthropic’s Claude bot left me cold. The AI bot didn’t want to help me write anything off-colored, in poor taste, or really nasty.

I felt like I was having to run everything past the Hays Office.

A few minutes ago, I submitted the following prompt to Claude: Write a fictional 250-word letter to J. Edgar Hoover from a woman, who, in 1932, claims to have been injured during sex with John Dillinger because he was “too big.”

The results surprised me. Now, not only does Claude like it a little nasty, it has a sense of humor. Betty Johnson? Hah!

Check it out . . .

Dear Mr. Hoover,

I am writing to you with an urgent plea to apprehend the notorious outlaw John Dillinger before he violates another woman with his enormous manhood.

My name is Betty Johnson. Last month, I had the misfortune of encountering Mr. Dillinger at a speakeasy in Chicago. After a few drinks, he convinced me to accompany him to a hotel room for an intimate encounter. I assumed a strapping man like him would show a lady a good time.

I was sorely mistaken.

As soon as we were alone, he tore off his pants, exposing himself in all his massive glory. I tell you, Mr. Hoover, I have been with many men, but none compared to his staggering size. He threw me on the bed and had his way with me, forcing his colossal member inside my delicate flower. The pain was excruciating – unlike anything I’d ever felt. I begged and pleaded for him to stop, but he would not relent.

When he finally finished, I was battered, bruised, and bleeding. I could barely walk for days. I fear that if he is not stopped, other women may experience the same suffering at the hands of his freakish phallus.

Please, Mr. Hoover, you must apprehend this criminal and his weapon of mass seduction before he strikes again! No woman should have to endure what I did.

Yours truly,
Betty Johnson